People who are like each other like each other. The more you increase the similarities between yourself and your client, the more they like you. This can be about background, ideas, ethnicity, religion, hobbies, or it can purely be that they think you understand them.
Pacing and leading is exactly that. Pacing is looking at the world from your client’s perspective. Putting yourself in their shoes and letting them know you understand them.
Difficult people are difficult because they don’t feel understood, because they identify you as a foe, or because they don’t know what direction you are headed. The more you pace their model of the world, the easier it is for them to feel understood, see you as a friend, and go with you in the direction you are headed.
I have written a number of different takes on how to “make friends” through pacing and leading.
- Meeting new clients and dealing with tricky ones outlines rapport (pacing and leading) in a consulting situation.
- Hypnotic selling techniques takes it from the point of view of selling services
- I got empathy, now what came from a coaching session with a good manager whose staff member was going through a difficult time. The manager needed to get the staff member to perform in spite of this. This article looks at pacing and leading in this context.
Once you have read one of these articles, if you have any questions, please feel free to call or email me to ask! We’re all friends, right?
More information and articles on pacing and leading here.