My client, Anne, would say to her manager “Oh that’s a real problem, I am having difficulty with that”. She thought that was asking for help. When her manager didn’t respond with help, Anne felt slighted.
Once she worked out that she’d been using a passive communication technique she could retrospectively evaluate other times when she’d actually missed saying “Please help me”. These were times when she thought she had been abandoned or ignored by her manager.
If you’re not getting the results you want, maybe it’s about how you’re approaching the communication.
Read more on assertive communication here.