There’s a lot of pressure on a hostage negotiator. Pressure to make the guy with the hostages do what the negotiator wants.
There’s a lot of pressure on technical professionals and consultants too.
Before the hostage negotiator can do anything, they have to make sure the guy with the hostages feels like the negotiator ‘gets’ him. When the guy with the hostages feels that the negotiator understands them, then the two can begin to talk. And once they start to talk, the chances of the negotiator getting what he wants increases.
A lot of corporate negotiations are similar (only the stakes are WAY lower).
Bottom line is that you have to say what they think is true before you even try to say what you think or want. It’s Stephen Covey’s habit Seek First to Understand then to be Understood.
I know how it works: see here, here, here, here. I have written many more articles. But you don’t need articles. You need help. I can help you negotiate more effectively with your clients, your boss and even your kids.
I work with smart, experienced consultants inside organisations. Make a time to speak to me for 10 minutes to discuss what you need. Let’s get you what you want in your next negotiation. Hostages optional.